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Life Moments

There are times in our lives when most of us turn to God specifically to thank him or to help us through a difficult time. Sometimes these are happy occasions when we are keen to celebrate our joy with God and others.

For many this starts with the birth of a child and the act of baptising him or her into the Christian faith. As we grow, many Christians choose to make the same promises made for them when they were babies to follow in the life of Jesus Christ and become confirmed Christians. When the time comes the vast majority of us want God to be present when we agree to marry the person we love.

At other times we turn to God when things get tough with work, family, relationships, illness and none more painful than to lose those we cherish most in life. We need God to tell us that everything will be alright.

You can find out more about how St John's can help you through these times - the good and the bad - in this section. Our commitment to you is lifelong.

Common Questions

What’s the difference between baptism and christening?
None – they are simply different words.

What is the right age for baptism?
Baptism can take place at any age as what matters is that those concerned are committed to bringing up the child as a Christian. However, teenagers and adults may also be baptised and this is celebrated with confirmation by the Bishop.

Can I still have my child baptised even though I am not a regular churchgoer?
Yes, if you live in the Parish. The Church believes that God's love is available to all, regardless of whether they are attending church. You may want to find out a little more about the Christian faith and what joining the church involves before you make a decision about your child’s baptism. You might prefer to have a Thanksgiving service and then consider baptism when you have had time to talk through with the Rector what is being asked of you.

If a child has not been christened, can he or she go on to be married in church?
Yes. Everyone is England has the legal right to be married in the parish in which they live irrespective of their religious views and any christening ceremonies.

If a child has not been christened, can he or she have a Christian cremation/burial?
Yes. This not affected by a christening ceremony.

Will a child go to heaven if he or she dies before being christened?
Yes. Jesus said “the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these” (Mark 10:14) and so the Christian church believes that he/she will. The church does not believe that the child’s ultimate salvation depends on whether a child has been christened or which christening service has been used.

Is a child properly named before his/her christening?
Yes. Names are given by parents and registered on the birth certificate.

What is the role of godparents?
Godparents make the same promises on behalf of the child being baptised as parents. Godparents promise to pray for and support the child and to help the parents to bring up the child in the Christian faith. It is an important and responsible role.

How many godparents do I need to appoint for my child’s christening?
You should have at least three godparents: two of the same sex as the child and one of the opposite sex. Godparents can be family members or friends. However, it is important that you choose people who will take an interest in your child's spiritual welfare and who will pray for you and your child. Godparents must themselves be baptised, and should also be confirmed.

I was not baptised as a child. Do I need godparents now I am being baptised?
Those who are older when they are baptised have sponsors rather than godparents. The role of the sponsor is slightly different as they are not to speak for the person being baptised, but to formally present them for baptism and to help them in their growth as Christians after they have been baptised.

There should be at least two and preferably three sponsors who are chosen by the candidates themselves before their baptism. Like godparents they need to be baptised and normally also confirmed.

Are godparents also guardians?
No. The church has no power to appoint guardians although of course the parents may choose to appoint the godparents as guardians in the event of their deaths. This needs to be specified in their wills.

Does christening a child make him or her a Christian?
No. It is up to each person to decide whether to follow Jesus Christ. To support children in their learning about Jesus, it is important to attend church regularly as a family so that you can all grow as part of the community which follows Jesus.

What does it cost?
A Baptism service is free, though there may be a small charge for a certificate. Please contact the Parish Office.

The Funeral Service

The service usually begins with the minister reading aloud reassuring sentences from the scriptures such as: 'I am the resurrection and the life,' saith the Lord; 'he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die,' and:
'I know that my Redeemer liveth ...'

A psalm - often The Lord is my shepherd - follows and lessons are read telling of God's care and of the hope of eternal life.

At this point, there may be an address or a sermon remembering the life of the person who has died. Such words can be a comfort and strength to the mourners although sometimes it is felt that the service and the readings from the Bible convey all that needs to be said. If to be included, the Communion service follows. The prayers said usually recall the promise of the resurrection, entrust the dead person to the love and mercy of God and ask for comfort and strength for those who mourn.

Whatever the pattern of service, the words and actions all speak of a loving God and the preciousness to Him of every human being.

The committal

The committal tends to be a particularly solemn moment of the funeral service. Taking place either at the graveside or, in the case of a cremation, in the crematorium chapel or in church before the hearse leaves for the crematorium.

In the cemetery or churchyard, the family will gather round the open grave into which the coffin is lowered and they will hear the words: 'We therefore commit his (or her) body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life.' Handfuls of earth are then scattered on the coffin.

In a crematorium, the words of committal may be accompanied by the closing of a curtain to hide the coffin from view or the coffin is moved slowly out of sight.

The committal can be a very emotional moment. Many who are suffering grief find that, even in their sadness, the words of prayer can lift them towards the experience of Christian rejoicing in the knowledge of life beyond death.

The offering of prayer and the trust that the person is in God's safe hands can begin the process of healing the grief of loss.

Cremation

Following a cremation, the ashes may be buried in our churchyard where we have a special area for this. When this burial takes place, which is usually a few days after the funeral, a further very brief service can be held if the family wish it and some suitable commemorative mark or record may be made.

Arranging a Funeral

A funeral marks the close of a human life on earth. It’s the opportunity for friends and family to express their grief, to give thanks for the life in this world and to commend the person into God's keeping.

If you are arranging the funeral, the person who has died may have left a paragraph in their Will describing the sort of funeral arrangements they had hoped for or you may have already had the conversation with them. Either way, you’ll want to keep to such arrangements as far as possible and we can help you do this.

You’ll want the funeral service to reflect the personality of the one who has died as well as the circumstances of their death. Everyone has the right to a funeral in their Parish Church, even if they have not been a churchgoer and you’ll need to consider whether burial or cremation is to happen.

Our churchyard is open for burials and we also have a special place set aside for burying ashes.

Our Parish team regard the taking of funerals and the support they can give to the family at this time as an important part of their work.

Some practicalities

If you would like one of the local clergy to take the service, you should contact the Parish Office to check that they are available before you make other arrangements. The funeral director that you appoint will play a very important part in all arrangements and will want to know if the funeral is to be in the Parish Church or if the service will take place in the crematorium. At either place, the service can be the traditional funeral service from the Prayer Book or Common Worship or with the addition of hymns, favourite prayers and readings, an address and a Communion Service. If there is to be an address and the priest did not know the dead person well, then it would help to provide some details.

The funeral service of the Church of England can be very short and quiet with only a few members of the family present or an occasion of great solemnity or thanksgiving with music, hymns and a packed church.

Of course we have strong relationships with local funeral directors so we shall help you as much as we can.

Find out more about the funeral service.

Being a Christian

Christian life is about living the relationship with God through Jesus Christ and looking to deepen that relationship, following the way that Jesus has taught. In our day-to-day lives it’s about living with Christian discipline with the most important things that we do help all helping to build our faith.

We are disciplined about prayer and read the Bible. We are generous with money and deliberate in how we use our time. We look to worship God and help others, striving to be graceful, kind and loving.

But we know that we cannot do this alone. We seek the fellowship and receive the learning at traditional church services as well as in the smaller, more informal groups such as our Home Groups, Quiet Days, Prayer Groups and Parish weekends.

Becoming a Christian is often likened to that of going on a long journey - one that can be fraught with many challenges but also enriched experiences along the way.

If you are interested in exploring the Christian faith a little more online, then the Church of England website is a good start point.

Our short Christianity Explored course is also an excellent introduction to Christianity.

Bereavement and Loss

At the times when we have lost dear friends or family, the mix of emotions as well as, in some cases, the need to make practical arrangement can be overwhelming.

As a Church we are always available for support however you need it and we have a strong pastoral team.

In the early days of grief, depending on the age or the circumstances of death, grief, gratitude, thanksgiving or sadness often intermingle. But often we don’t experience the full sense of our loss until sometime after the funeral. Grieving is natural and important part of coming to terms with death and may continue for several months and you should know that we are here to support you every step of the way.

You may like to read about how to arrange a funeral or find out what happens at the funeral service.

For support from an external group, you may like to contact Cruse Bereavement Care.