Life Moments

Common Questions

Am I allowed to get married at St John’s Church, Windlesham?
There are relatively new rules that govern when two people are allowed to marry within a specific Church.  Read these here. If you are under the age of eighteen, you must have your parents’ consent to marry.

How far in advance do we need to make arrangements?
As with all those people you will be asking to make your day special, you should give as much notice as possible although it needs to be at least three months.

Please speak to the Rector who will be happy to talk with you about marriage even before you set the day.

The normal preliminary to getting married in the Church of England is by banns. You must have your banns read out in church for three Sundays during the three months before the wedding. This is often done over three consecutive Sundays but does not have to be. Banns are an announcement of your intention to marry and a chance for anyone to put forward a reason why the marriage may not lawfully take place. Banns need to be read in the parish where each of you lives as well as at the church in which you are to be married if that is another parish.

I am divorced what are the choices for me?
The Church of England understands that a marriage may have been flawed, or have failed for a number of reasons and so second marriages, in special circumstances, are possible and you should speak to the Rector about the circumstances of your previous marriage.

I am widowed, what are the choices for me?
The Church of England holds the view that marriage is for life: it is a commitment 'till death us do part'. This is the teaching of the Bible. If your husband or wife has died, you are free to marry again.

What days and what time can I get married?
Most weddings at our Church take place on a Saturday. However, it is perfectly possible to be married on other days and, legally, you have to be married during the hours of daylight.

Can we take photos and videos?
We welcome the opportunity for you to have photographs or video taken of the wedding. Please remember that you must ensure that you have the permission of copyright holders when asking for recordings to be made.

How much does a church wedding cost?
The fee for a wedding at St John’s Church is £365.50 plus a £35 booking fee. In addition, all marriages require a Verger to be present at a charge of £50.

Optional extras include:

• £115 for organist
• £57.50 for use of video
• £55 for choir
• The cost for flowers within church

CofE Marriage Measure

The introduction of the Church of England Marriage Measure on October 1st 2008 changed the ‘rules’ of where a couple can be married.

These changes mean an engaged couple are welcome to be married in church in a parish if just one of these applies:

• one of them was baptised or prepared for confirmation in the parish;
• one of them has ever lived in the parish for six months or more;
• one of them has at any time regularly attended public worship in the parish for six months or more;
• one of their parents has lived in the parish for six months or more in their child’s lifetime;
• one of their parents has regularly attended public worship there for six months or more in their child’s lifetime;
• their parents or grandparents were married in the parish.
  (All of these refer to Church of England services)

Previous law established a right for a couple to marry in the Church of England in the parish church where one or both of them lived, whether they were baptised or not, and whether they were churchgoers or not. To marry in any other parish required a special licence or six months of regular attendance followed by entry on the local church electoral roll.

Thanksgiving Service

The birth of a child is a wonderful experience and one that we rightly give thanks for.

For some parents there is a real need to thank God publicly for their child and to ask for his blessing whilst not baptising the child – although baptism may well follow at a later date.

For these families we’re pleased to offer a Thanksgiving service as a way of thanking God for the new life and we do this as part of our main Sunday act of worship. Whilst the parents thank God, they are not asked to make the same promises as in the baptism,

This service shouldn’t be seen as an alternative to baptism and is designed for those parents who:

• see this service as a preliminary to baptism,
• don’t wish to have their child baptised immediately for whatever reason
• recognise that their child is something for which they want to give thanks to God.

As with baptism, age is no limitation and this service is equally relevant for those parents welcoming an adopted child into their family.

For more information, please contact the Parish Office.

The Baptism Service

At St John’s we hold monthly baptism services which take place within our main Family service on the second Sunday of the month. This is so that we can all celebrate with you as your child is welcomed into the family of the Church and offer our support and to pray for you and your child.

This means that there will be parts of the service for the whole congregation to join in and other parts which are just for you as parents and the godparents. You can be assured that you will be welcomed and directed to where you and your guests can sit. For the baptism part of the service, the parents and godparents will be asked by the priest to gather around the font (a large ‘basin’ on a pedestal, containing the water for baptism).

At this point, the priest will ask the parents and godparents to make declarations on behalf of the child. You will be asked to declare publicly on behalf of your child that you believe in God and that you will bring your child up to follow Jesus. You will be asked to answer, on your child's behalf, that you have decided to turn away from everything which is evil or sinful and instead to turn towards Christ.

Within the service there are a number of symbols and actions that are important and are worth outlining.

The sign of the cross - the priest will make the sign of the cross on your child's forehead. This is like an invisible badge to show that Christians are united with Christ and must not be ashamed to stand up for their faith in him.

Water - the priest will pour water on your child's head. Water is a sign of washing and cleansing. In baptism it is a sign of being washed free from sin and beginning a new life with God. Water is a sign of life, but also a symbol of death. When we are baptised, it is as though our old life is buried in the waters (like drowning) and we are raised to new life with Christ.

Anointing - after baptism in water, the minister may anoint the child with oil. This is a sign of the outpouring of God's Holy Spirit.

The welcome - the church congregation will say some formal words of welcome to acknowledge that you child has joined the Church and to show how pleased they are to have you among them. Your child will also be given the gift of a Bible.

Candles - Jesus is the Light of the World.  A large candle will be lit and you may also be given a lighted candle at the end of the service as a reminder of the light which has come into your child's life.